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How to Deal with Sibling Rivalry

April 1, 2021

Fighting among siblings is inevitable. It can make you feel exhausted, overwhelmed, and frustrated. As parents and guardians, it is our goal to create a peaceful home environment though at times it can feel impossible. Here are some tips to help quell some squabbles between siblings.

First, identify the cause of the feud. Understand that though the dispute can seem insignificant, there can be an underlying cause. By understanding the reason, you can manage the rivalry better.

Here are some causes:

·      Attention

·      Jealousy

·      Misunderstanding

·      Self-esteem

·      Friendships

Second, understand that there is no permanent fix. Siblings will fight, bicker, and disagree; however, our job is to minimize conflict and assist in their resolution.

Here are some ways you can support a cooperative family environment:

Stay Calm

It is essential to pay attention to your students' interactions. If necessary, you may need to intervene before the situation escalates. Your demeanor can unintentionally gaslight a situation. Make sure not to overreact and to be level-headed.

Set an Example

Remember that you are setting an example for your students. How you interact with your partner provides an example to your students.

Supporting Individuality

Show that you appreciate each of your students as individuals. Spend time with them individually by doing activities they like. Set aside time for each student.

Plan Family Activities

Spending time as a family allows students to bond and to share memories. These activities also allow you to spend more time with your students.

Be Fair

Understanding that being fair and being equal are not the same. When it comes to rewards and reprimands, students should be provided each based on their individuality, not as a unit.

Have Family Meetings

Set aside time to gather the family and talk. Ensure that everyone has an opportunity to communicate and establish that this is a time to support each other as a family.


Siblings will have disagreements; however, it is our role to help minimize and resolve these events in a supportive setting.


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Optimus Learning School is a tutoring center in Brea serving Fullerton, Placentia, and Yorba Linda. Since 2008, we have been helping students from kindergarten through high school achieve their academic goals through our various programs such as our home school, after school program, homework help, and private tutoring. We also offer seasonal programs such as our popular summer camp. There are many enrichment classes year-round, such as coding, STEM, piano, and art which will help shape creative and well-rounded students. Are you ready to kickstart your child’s education? Send an inquiry form or contact us today!

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